May 9

Silver Ruth

Today I learned something about humbling myself before god. I lost my job last Monday and the ego driven me I was had no fear I have always gotten another job likety split. Well after 100s of applications and no calls back. A few interviews with no calls back. Tuesday as I went to my car to take my children to school so I could prepare for another interview in the field I wanted to get out of my car wouldn’t start. He had finally broke me finally I felt I sad and I cried. Children confused why I was crying I sat on my floor and said in my head you win god I can’t do it I can’t do it anymore without you. I’m lost I don’t know where you want me to be what you want me to do. I’m trying and you have shut me down….. I released ….. and I cried some more as I wrote the company I was supposed to have an interview with in 3 and 1/2 hours that I was having car trouble and please forgive me and please give me the opportunity to reconcile. They responded with being able to change the date to later in the day or reschedule. I responded wanting to reschedule because I was not sure how long it would take to get the car running. Just past the time of when I would have had my interview I emailed them to let them know I was up and running and could meet later. That was Tuesday I still have not heard anything from them. I saw that is not where god wants me I’m thinking

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